time...

so many things happened lately...
started college life 2 months ago...
met with so many kind of people from different places, background, cultures, religion..
made friends with so many crazy people, good people, mischievous people, smart people, power people...
being involved indirectly with so many kinds of situations...
doing things and saying words that i don't like...
emotion curve flying high up this second and sliding low down next minute...
rushing here and there for this and that...
trying to hit this and that target...
either forgot to eat or forgot to sleep...
HECTIC.
no rest, no peace..
taking myself into restless situations...
morning open eyes go to class..
night slept before closing eyes...
is this what i wanted..?
for what..?
forget about him..?
not to have time thinking rubbish..?
i don't know..
give me rest, Lord.
teach me when to work and when to rest..
i need You.
i need Your hug, Your kiss and Your shoulder.
it has been so long i never have a warm hug, a good night kiss and a shoulder to cry on..
5 years.
i miss you so much...
memories keep on flashing back lately..
moments we once had together..
that i missed so much...
sweet, sour, bitter...
but i cannot tell it out...
i cannot let anyone know...
i have to be strong..
Help me, LORD!!
I need You..
although you're no more here..
i hope what i'm doing now will not make you angry as if you're here..
that's my target..
my hope..
i hope you can see it from up there...
i know, you know.
remember not to tell mom.
i wanna give her a surprise.
help me, dad, heaven dad..