This is definitely a wrong moment.
But I don't wanna let this moment slip away silently.
Good or bad, every moment is a memory.
I'm sure one day I'll look back at the ups and downs with a smile
saying, "i did not regret, my life is not empty, and that's what makes me who i am today"
It has been months I have not blogged.
March-November... 8 months
I have been so different since then.
Still remember the last blog that I posted..
That time I was in a very confused and messed up mood.
I have to make a very big decision.
At the same time I was having this heartache quarrel with a best of friend.
Also bothered with the issue of a 16 year older man proposing to me
Looking back, I really wonder how could I made it through..
And the amazing thing is I can still write a post here to motivate and assure myself of the things i'm going through.. -it will be fine-
Yes, I remembered the tears that dropped when I was writing that post..
The whole process was such a pain that it ended so nicely
Begin the post with frustration, continue with tears and end with a hopeful smile.. also sleepy eyes.. hehe
Time passed, things changed, people come and go..
Believe it or not, everything begins in your mind
My face still look the same, my body is still that chubby and the power of my glasses remain unchanged
but people around says I am DIFFERENT/ I CHANGED
mm.. yes. something's really different.
I would say - mindset.
Having a different thinking.
And so, the speech and actions follow.
Think much, seen much, heard much, been through much, learned much, changed much, tears much, heartbreaks even much more.
Rejections, pain, cold, tiredness, contradiction, mental torture, loneliness, accusation, being made guilty, being looked down, insecurity, being left out, being bad mouthed, fear, trembles, hunger...
All of them are difficult, hard, tough.
But they built me.
I was left with nothing. I failed it all. I have NOTHING LEFT AT ALL.
I loose til nothing left -
Sounds depressing?
I haven't finish my sentence..
Yes, at that point in time, I really have nothing left, I really feel down.
But I could turn the sentence around somehow.
I loose til nothing left - so, I have nothing to loose now. I'm ready to success!
If things are not right yet, it is not finished, it is not done, it is not over yet!!
Cool right?
I also wonder.. can't believe I could still motivate myself up to continue and move on at that point.
Not easy at all.
But here I am.
God preserved me.
Yeap, i'm searching for a partnership. A partner that is willing to follow, change, challenge and upgrade himself/herself together with me.
This is not merely a business. But a life lesson that no one will teach you.
"God did not promise life without pain or problems; but He did promise to be our Father and walk with us through life"
Thank You, Lord.
September rant
9 years ago
