Pain. Only the master of it knows the pain itself. No others.

I recently had this thought of wondering the way/destination I am heading. Is it right or wrong. Or to say, is that what I wanted? Am I happy with what I am going to be? Am I on the right path? Why does everything seemed so much difficult than I think? Yes. Education again. But education leads to work place and the people you are going to meet and are meeting. It is also about the job you are going do. Whether you enjoy it? Like it? Or to say satisfy you, your way of serving people. Erm.. your customer perhaps. Is that the way you wanted to put a smile on your customer's face. A genuine one.

So, it all started with food. God created food, something essential for life to live on which also add enjoyments, colors, feelings and relationships (eating time is always bonding time) in it. I enjoy food. And like it so much that I enjoy it to the fullest. By just looking at a dish, I can think of where are the ingredients from, how it was washed, cut, prepared, cooked, stirred, garnished, tastes, the nutritional value in it and the body's reaction towards it. Also, with the ingredients in front of me, I could imagine how the taste could be combined together to make it taste the best, side by side with the value of it, nutritional value. Oh! also the most important thing in it - the attitude. The state of your mind, mood and feelings. Those are the life that you are going to put/ are putting in the dish to make it a dish. Over exaggerated? hehe. I know you won't believe it. So.. Education + Food = ?

Yeap, you guessed it right. Culinary Art. Which is something totally different from what I am doing now. There is no way of linking Nursing and Culinary Art together, right? (I know this question is keep on wandering in your mind - "Are you going to change course?" Well.. you'll know it later. Keep on reading =) Okay, back to "no way of linking"...)Yes, big difference in the way of being taught and the path of learning, different syllabus, different situation, different discipline. But I find both are so far apart, yet so close together. They have the same basic simple base principle - Promote Life. Why people eat? To continue living. Why people nurse? To get well and continue living. Culinary art? Food. Nursing? Health. Both add colors and taste into your "continue living" essentials.

This semester break is really a good time. Not too busy and not too free, just nice. Enough time for me to think. Think deeply and not too deep. Enough time for me to listen to someone I never thought myself will spend time with. I learned much more things which is real, no regrets. And I do not know the real meaning of pain until I have seen her keeping quiet with what is happening to her. No argues, no conflict creating, no breaking of harmony. She takes the pain on herself without a word. Physical pain, everyone says there is no pain or just bear with the pain; psychological pain, everyone says siao/sot (mental illness) already or memory loss. But does anyone knows the pain she is going through? Everyone just commented and blamed her it's her own problem with hurtful words, not realizing she also has feelings. Physical + Psychological (frm family). So tell me now, can you rate the pain? I love my grandma.

Few events of cooking this sem break too. Pouring all my feelings, wishes and blessings into the dishes, I feel happy. If given a choice, I would like myself and my name not to be mentioned for the food. I would want that feelings they caught on their first bite to be stored in their sweet memories, with their loved ones and family with them. Because someday after that bite, whenever they tasted something similar, they will smile to themselves, recalling the sweet memories they had, not because of food but the moments they had with someone special to them. Taste helps recall the warmth moments you had with someone that is meaningful to you where the "taste" is different for everyone. Translated from Chinese: A Taste of Warmth?

How I hope I can have a job that requires both of these skills. Caring, helping and understanding the patient at the same time the feelings they wanted to taste and tasting, warm their cold situation.

Cooking taught me -
Taste. Only the eater knows the taste of warmth itself. No others.

Nursing taught me -
Pain. Only the master of it knows the pain itself. No others.

I'm on with nursing. It taught me the precious of life.
I will not give up culinary. It taught me the beauty of life.
Not to forget people that has been good to me in the past.
I respect life.

Thank you, Lord.
You gave me the precious and beauty of life, the life itself.